This is the stories of my life, my thought, also my feeling. Sad, desperate, laugh, happiness...everything. I just hope we all can learn something. Enjoy

Sunday, June 04, 2006

When I-hate-myself time comes

Have you ever hate yourself so much because of someone else? It’s not necessarily because that someone did something bad to you (although there is possibility). But the presence of this someone – yes, by simply ‘being there’ – makes you want to bang your head against the wall, or jump from 75th floor, or throw yourself in front of speedy angkot...


And I don’t like the feeling. I don’t like the idea of hating myself for something that I don’t know of.

Usually, when this I-hate-myself time comes, it’s because I did a huge mistake. And even if I did, I will have the guts to forgive myself and say: “I have the right to be wrong, my mistakes will make me strong” (yeah, sing it!).

But this time? Ummm… how can I forgive myself? I don’t even know what makes me hate myself! Altought I know I have this tendency of blaming my self for everything bad happened. But this time, it doesn’t seem right.

Ah. Whatever.

Have you ever?


Rizal said...
It's not a hate-yourself feeling. You are just --how can I say that? -- heartbreaking with that particular someone. Hahahaha :-)
I think thats all bcos 'thats guy', eh? Dude!!! 'Thats Guy' isn't a good guy, come'on... I NEVER DO 'THAT' BY SMS FOR A GIRL!! Thats not your foul!! Be strong honey!!!

3:33 PM

Okol said...
That's what I told dina, Zal...:)

4:04 PM

Mbilung said...
he he he .... love .... he he he .... pain

4:17 PM

silverlines said...
I tend to agree with Rizal .. When you're not sure what you feel towards someone, certainly there's a glimpse -- if not all -- of infatuation around .
Just enjoy, girl .. don't be so worried about all that.
But don't jump from 75th floor.
It's dangerous ;-)

5:07 PM

Dina said...
Bapak rizal, Ibu okol, Bapak Mbilung, Ibu Silverlines yang terhormat...


ah, c'mon guys... you take it all wrong! hiks... now i think i have more reason to jump from 75th floor!

5:29 PM

lenje said...
oic. if it's "three years of fun", and you had a great time, don't feel guilty about it. but don't expect more either. Eniweih, buat plajaran aja yaa...


7:11 PM

Anonymous said...
why you have to be worried and self-denying like that ;-)
Who's this lucky guy if we may know?
PS:I am sure we don't take it all wrong :P

8:33 PM

rizal said...
and "I have the right to be wrong", don't I?

Go on, jump. I'd stay (so un-Titanic, eh?:-))

3:48 AM

a girl said...
Hey, I can relate to this post. I KNOW THE FEELING U'RE TALKING ABOUT. Despite of there is no romance-whatsoever-related in my case, which I humbly pressume it is to u juding from ur people's comment, but been there done that.

I hate my self cos this someone make me wanna be like her, physically. This is rare cos I'm proud to be me.

I hate my self cos this someone make me feel stupid by being so brainy and humble in the same time.

And so on and so forth.

1:05 PM

Dina said...
ppfffhh... not a three-years-fun either. Nyesel?? Maybe...

it's a guy. umm..

i myself is not a big fan of titanic. i cried, tho. but who doesn't? people also cry when they watch Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. ah! what am i talking about?? the point is, im not going to jump. im better now :D.. Eniweih...CATET ye.. I'm not crying, bcos of that guy, UNTIL NOW!!

a girl:
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT! it's just THAT! i hate my self because im stupid for being so stupid and no brainy and all that. ah three years!!! How i'm soooo stupid!! I think i gotta a "hate man until a fallin love again" now, hi hi hi. love you for that! i can feel you sistah!

2:17 PM

treespotter said...
is there really a 75 floor building in Malang? How long would it take to reach the ground?

4:38 PM

Dina said...
Aku jadi gak pengen terjun dari lantai 75. Tapi justru jadi pengennya ngelempar orang dari lantai 75, setelah sebelumnya dikitik-kitik sampe setengah idup! KLIYAN ITU YEEEE.....!!!!!


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